In 1915, American poet Robert Frost wrote “The Road Not Taken,” a poem that has ever since been among the world’s favorites. Here is the full text:
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both and be one traveler, long I stood. And looked down one as far as I could to where it bent in the undergrowth.
Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay in leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet, knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.
Though seemingly simple, the poem has many subtleties and has been interpreted in numerous ways. One question it raises but leaves unanswered is whether the “difference” was positive or negative, and thus whether taking the path “less traveled” proved a good choice. Readers are left to ponder whether following the crowd is ever a wise choice and, if so, in what circumstances. (See here for a discussion of more of the poem’s complexities.)
However, one message in the poem is unambiguous. Because “way leads on to way,” once we have chosen a path, we will likely never have a chance to “come back” and choose differently. We should therefore choose our paths wisely. The “paths” life presents to us take many forms, notably embracing values, forming ideas, entertaining thoughts about people, and responding to everyday challenges. We encounter such paths daily, often many times a day, throughout our lives. And any choices we make have the potential to make a positive or negative difference.
As I write, Thanksgiving Day is less than two weeks away. 2024 has been, to say the least, an unusual year. Controversial issues seem more numerous than ever. Among the most contentious have been migration, abortion, climate change, education, inflation, crime, drug addiction, war, health care, terrorism, and unemployment. Throughout this year’s election period, candidates for office and their surrogates have accused their opponents of being imbeciles and Satanists, or Fascists, Nazis, and even garbage. Understandably, reasoned dialogue has fallen from difficult to impossible and led to strained or broken relationships between associates, neighbors, and friends, and even within families.
Given the potential for quarreling and exchanging insults at family tables, some people will choose to avoid family gatherings on Thanksgiving, and perhaps Christmas and Hanukkah as well. And those who gather the courage to attend will likely be painfully cautious about conversation topics—and even the wording of the Thanksgiving prayer—lest someone be offended. Good-natured banter, long a staple of family gatherings, will be restrained.
In short, the “path” of this year’s Thanksgiving, like the path of Frost’s traveler, will surely “make a difference” in our lives, but very possibly an awkward and unpleasant one.
Yet it doesn’t have to be that way. A wiser and more rewarding choice is to set aside cultural and political opinions, abandon browbeating, accusing, and shaming, and focus on expressing love and kindness for one another.
Instantly changing habits established over many years will not be easy. Advanced preparation is needed. One way to prepare would be having the host/hostess of the gathering send every family member a message like this:
“This Thanksgiving, we will praise God for all our blessings, starting with the gift of family. We know that life is short, and our time together limited, so let’s make this day special by putting aside our differences and simply sharing memories of special moments in our family over the years and letting this joyful nostalgia express our thanks to God.”
Skeptics will say that a single day’s change of behavior has little chance of overcoming years of contrary habits. That is true enough. But it is also true that, as a wise man once said, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
Copyright © 2024 by Vincent Ryan Ruggiero. All rights reserved.
